Low power computers

So in a complete shock to everyone Europe is short on energy. Who could have guessed that depending on Russian gas, shutting down nuclear power plants and putting the absolute minimal effort possible into renewable energy would lead to energy shortages?! Bunch of god damn brain surgeons…

Well, maybe I don’t need the Xeon-D server running so that’s down. This means no Ceph which was kind of going to happen anyway. Interesting experiment. I’ve also switched from my 12-core AMD Ryzen to an Intel i3 NUC which struggles a bit to be honest. YouTube at 1080p leaves the CPU at 70% usage. At 720p it’s more like 55%.

2 cores and 2 threads per core, 16GB RAM and like 20GB of swap just in case. I use alacritty as a terminal emulator, btm for systems monitoring and of course Google Chrome as a web browser. Retroarch runs pretty well when the system isn’t too busy with other things. I’ve got Steam installed and presumably I’ll have to stick to 2D games like Shadowrun Returns, Huntdown, Guacamelee, Creeper World 3. I wonder how far I could run Factorio. That’s actually heavy purely at the simulation level. Steamworld Heist runs fine.

It will be interesting to see if Civ 4 will run. It’s a little bit of 3D and has to run with Proton/Wine so it’s not trivial. It should be noted that my screen is at 3440×1440 so that makes things a bit heavier. Assetto Corsa will of course have to run on the AMD Ryzen-workstation along with Subnautica and They Are Billions.

VLC runs just fine, I don’t have to run the snap version to avoid audio stuttering. I wonder how VS Code will run. I can run Python-development in Neovim but Node.js and Go wasn’t viable to develop like that.

Google Chrome isn’t easy on my CPU. YouTube at 720p60 and loading pages over at Hashicorp at the same time overpowers the system and makes YouTube downgrade to 480p. I’m using googler with w3m now and that works well. It’s really noticeable how resource intensive even simple static text pages are to load in a graphical browser, compared to a console-only browser with images disabled.

On Neovim as an IDE

I’m working on an ansible collection for setting up a workstation for myself. I’m using exa instead of ls, making bat available alongside cat, setting up neomvim etc. Neovim has some cool features for integrating with debugging tools but I have only made it works in a satisfactory way with Python and JavaScript. I’m probably going to remove JavaScript from the config and only use Neovim for Python development.

Because getting JavaScript in itself to work was an absolute pain. I thought that I – having done this already with Python – would be able to get JS and Go running more easily. No, JS was a pain and Go just fell apart. I’ll be using VS Code or JetBrains maybe for JavaScript, TypeScript and Go. This is no slight against Neovim. It’s amazing that you can make a terminal-based text editor work like an IDE at all but I’d argue that it needs to be assembled by the people making the integrations. It’s not viable to arrive at this kind of config by trial-and-error:

Plug 'mfussenegger/nvim-dap'
Plug 'nvim-telescope/telescope-dap.nvim'
Plug 'mxsdev/nvim-dap-vscode-js'

lua << EOF
local dap = require('dap')
dap.adapters.node2 = {
    type = "executable",
    name = "node-debug",
    command = "node",
    args= {"/home/cjp/.local/share/debuggers/vscode-js-debug/out/src/debugServerMain.js", "45635" }
}
dap.configurations.javascript = {
  {
    type = "pwa-node",
    request = "launch",
    name = "Launch file",
    program = "${file}",
    cwd = "${workspaceFolder}",
  },
  {
    type = "pwa-node",
    request = "attach",
    name = "Attach",
    processId = require'dap.utils'.pick_process,
    cwd = "${workspaceFolder}",
  }
}
EOF

lua << EOF
vim.g.markdown_fenced_languages = {
  "ts=typescript"
}
EOF

So I’ll be using Neovim instead of vim from now on and even use it to write and debug Python code, but I think we’ll have to wait for Neovim to be a generally viable IDE.

Addendum:

OK, I hate to say it but VS Code is pretty damn good. Credit where credit is due.

VSCode: Jinja templates huh? There are extensions for that. Should I show which ones?
Me: Uh… Sure. … Okey, and I just click to install? Well… That was easy.

And even on my Intel i3 NUC that coughs blood when I watch YouTube videos at 1080p it’s pretty damned responsive. I might get tired of having to use the mouse eventually but there’s a lot of polish to like in VS Code.

Sidenote:

This works great for finding examples of how certain things are done in Ansible that I can’t quite remember:

/ho/cj$ grep -C 10 -h -R "join(" ansible/
[mariadb]
log-bin                    = ON
server-id                  = {{ inventory_hostname_short[-1] }}
log-basename               = {{ inventory_hostname_short }}

{% if bootstrap %}
wsrep_cluster_address      = gcomm://
{% else %}
wsrep_cluster_address      = gcomm://{{ clusternodes|join(',') }}
{% endif %}

wsrep_cluster_name         = {{cluster_name}}
binlog-format              = ROW
default_storage_engine     = InnoDB
innodb_autoinc_lock_mode   = 2
wsrep_on                   = ON
wsrep_log_conflicts        = ON
wsrep_node_address         = {{ansible_facts["ens18"]["ipv4"]["address"]}}
wsrep_sst_receive_address  = {{ansible_facts["ens18"]["ipv4"]["address"]}}

Linux io troubleshooting

I was trying to find the source of some weird iowait on my main workstation and came across https://haydenjames.io/what-is-iowait-and-linux-performance/ which recommended the following

  • iostat – try it with the -xm 2 options for extended statistics, in megabytes and in two-second intervals.
  • iotop – top-like I/O monitor. Try it with the -oPa options to show the accumulated I/O of active processes only.
  • ps – use auxf, then under the “STAT” column “D” usually indicates disk iowait.
  • strace – view the actual operations issued by a process. Read the strace man page.
  • lsof – aft

Not bad. iostat -x is very wide so iostat -xsm 2 can be useful. It will show iowait unlike iostat -sm 2

iotop -oPa was great and showed that btrfs-transaction kernel thread was the big writer.

With apt install inotify-tools I got some nice inotify-based tools(as the name would suggest). Turns out that no files were actually written to the disks seeing iowait so I’ll demo it on another folder:

root@amd:~# inotifywatch -r /home/cjp/.cache/
Establishing watches...
Finished establishing watches, now collecting statistics.
^Ctotal  modify  close_write  open  create  delete  filename
53     33      5            5     5       5       /home/cjp/.cache/google-chrome/Default/Cache/Cache_Data/

It’s probably just another btrfs write-amplification-thing-a-majig. This showed the same thing:

lsof +D /path/to/btrfsmount

I’ve seen this before, just not with zero writes to the filesystem… Like 100KB=>500KB write I’ve seen. But 0=>500KB? That’s new.

Memo to self: be careful about putting Btrfs on SSDs.

Best Rick and Morty episodes

Ricky and Morty starts out incredibly strong and has some amazing episodes in season 3 while season 4 is stumbling a bit. These are the episodes you can watch time and time again:

  1. The Ricklantis Mixup – S03E07
    A marvelous sequel(spoilers!) to Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind. Like The Wire only on the citadel of Ricks.
  2. Pickle Rick – S03E03
    Rick tries to get out of therapy and has an arguably even more difficult day as a result.
  3. Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender – S03E04
    Rick gets drunk and sets up Morty’s favorite super-heroes for a dressing-down.
  4. Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind – S01E10
    Ricks are assassinated across timelines and Earth-Rick C-137 is prosecuted by the council of Ricks. We learn why Ricks need Mortys.
  5. Auto Erotic Assimilation – S02E03
    Rick is a negative influence on Unity the hive-mind who enslaves planets.
  6. Mortynight run – S02E02
    Don’t question Rick’s gun-deals.
  7. M. Night Shaym-Aliens! – S01E04
    A poptart driving a toaster? That doesn’t seem right.
  8. The Ricks Must Be Crazy – S02E06
    A battery can be the gateway to a whole universe in the world of Rick. Rick and Morty surpasses Fringe in sci-fi terms sometimes. You haven’t watched Fringe seasons 1-4? Oh, you poor fool. You have watched Fringe season 5? You have my condolences.
  9. The Rickshank Redemption – S03E01
    – And I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan szechuan-teriyaki dipping sauce Morty. Because that’s what this is all about Morty. That’s my one-armed man.
    ~Rick Sanchez
  10. Lawnmower dog – S01E02
    – Don’t call me that! Snuffles was my slave name. You shall now call me… Snowball. Because my fur is pretty and white.
    ~Snuffles/Snowball the dog.
  11. Never Ricking Morty – S04E06
    Let’s play around with storytelling.

RedLetterMedia Best of the Worst episodes

I really like Best of the Worst on RedLetterMedia’s YouTube channel. But I don’t always remember which segments are which. Here are some notes. Quotes are usually from the RLM crew, not directly from the movies. Typically I write comments from the RLM crew speaking as if though they are one of the participants in the videos in italics. Score is both a reflection of the roasting of the movies and the movies themselves. An episode with only three Neil Breen movies would get a 0 no matter how good the jokes might be.

Standing jokes:

  • 9/11
  • AIDS
  • Old people are frail and incontinent

Wheel of the Worst

Information videos, loose entertainment.

  • Wheel of the Worst #1 – 8/10
    • Candid Candid Camera Volume 6: “Whose idea was it to marry candid camera and softcore porn?”
    • Let’s Rap About Fire Safety: Meh
    • The Dance of Birth:
      The source of the wonderful phrase “oxygenating our wombspace” which appears in numerous later episodes of Best of the Worst. For people who are familiar with the concept of Minkovski-space the idea of wombspace is interesting.
      • “The Dance of Birth is a movie made by a brain-dead middle aged hippie.”
      • “It was shocking, it was hypnotic and I hated it.”
  • Wheel of the Worst #2 – 3/10
    • Key Matters: About kids getting a key to the house.
    • For Safety’s Sake: With Gary Coleman.
    • The Family Guide to the Internet: Presented by people who know nothing about the internet.
  • Wheel of the Worst #3 – 4/10
    • Tree Stand Safety: Disappoints everyone.
    • Where Did I Come From: Sex education cartoons are always super creepy.
    • Instant Adoring Boyfriend: r/boringdystopia
  • Wheel of the Worst #4 – 7/10
    • Kitten Commotion: “It looks like a snuff film for cats.”
    • Fall Donut Event Finishing Video: “It says ‘1994 Fall Donut Event Finishing with Bob Rosenberg’, which is possibly an entirely different type of video…”
    • Shoji Tabuchi: So… A japanese violinist has been performing country music in Branson, Missouri twice a day for 28 years? Sounds like an SCP
  • Wheel of the Worst #5 – 9/10
    • Cleared for Takeoff: A guy records his family going on a trip with an airplane. Rich Evans performs one of his world class prank phone-calls.
    • Tales from Genesis Space: Sci-fi stories from a guy who made CGI way ahead of his time. Kind of interesting Beastie Boys tribute rap by aliens at the end.
      • “It’s all him. He writes the bad scripts and makes the bad films.”
      • “2001: a Fisher-Price odyssey.”
      • “We can’t tell if he smells, because it’s a video.”
    • SOS: Groovy music video from a Japanese Christian doomsday cult. No joke. That’s what it is.
  • Wheel of the Worst #6 – 2/10
    The Osteoporosis Dance is kind of funny but the other ones are painful.
  • Wheel of the Worst #7 – 9/10
    • Ice Dams: “The one thing I wanted out of that video was seeing just one icicle fall and hit some kid in the head!”
    • Kids and Airbags: “Puffy the Airbag Bear: ‘I will fuck up your face!’
    • How to Become a Teenage Ninja: Culturally sensitive and totally legit ninja training, for teenagers.
    • Dog Sitter: Yet another excellent Rich Evans prank call!
  • Wheel of the Worst #8 – 9/10
    • Let’s Sing and Dance: Includes Rich Evans story about going home to a guy sitting next to him at the baseball game and being shown his Wendy’s ad and Warhammer figurines.
    • Twentieth Anniversary – Geritol Follies: Elderly people entertaining other elderly people and being vaguely racist.
      • “I just pray it’s not very long.”
      • “Hosted by Mrs. Doubtfire.”
      • “It was two hours long.”
      • “I’m looking at you like a monster because you’re saying normal and decent things, which I don’t expect from you.”
    • Learn Gun Safety with Eddie Eagle: “Eddie Sex Predator and Gun Safety Eagle.”
  • Wheel of the Worst #9 – 7/10
    • America Online for Internet: Slightly outdated and in Cantonese I think… So not great. RLM adding a propaganda movie for the People’s Liberation Army to it was nice though.
    • Backyard Stunting – Hits and Misses: A vageuly homo-erotic stunt tutorial.
      • “For extra protection, use a ball gag.”
      • “Pants might get in the way of a good shot.”
      • “They should call it Backdoor Stunting !”
    • Rainbow’s Remedy with Rainbow the Clown:
      • “I think Eloise Cole is actually the name of an ancient Mesopotamian Death God, everyone around her just start dying.”
      • “That’s how the Grief Clown-venom gets into your veins.”
      • “She flunked out of clown college and had to become a grief therapist.”
  • Wheel of the Worst #10 – 7/10
    They can’t even spin the wheel before getting off some zingers:
    “September 2001? Everything about this tape is a disaster!”
    “Speaking of Bill Cosby, our next tape is How to seduce women who aren’t aware of what’s going on.”
    • Show off – How to Be Cool at Parties: “I think there was a class action law-suit from all the six-year olds who got beat up after trying these stunts…”
    • Motherlode: A guy fawns over Morel mushrooms. I hate mushrooms, and now I hate Morel mushrooms even more.
      • “I want Jimmy Fallon to be dead. That doesn’t make me a bad person!”
      • “Jimmy Fallon? The only thing he should host is a parasite.”
      • I usually don’t advise this, but I think you should kill yourself. I’m writing you a prescription for a rope…
    • Exploding Varmints: A nice guy who totally isn’t a serial killer shoots prairie dogs with a high-power rifle, causing them to explode.
  • Wheel of the Worst #11 – 6/10
    • How to Seduce Women Through Hypnosis: Hypnosis doesn’t work like that.
    • How to Get Revenge: Highly illegal things being recommended by more or less drunk actors.
    • UPC Codes: Christian message about how UPC codes are the mark of the beast. Apparently it’s only UPC codes, not bar codes in general. Failing to understand machine-readable data representations I can forgive fundamentalists for but failing to grasp the point of the book of revelation is kind of embarrassing.
  • Wheel of the Worst #12 – 5/10
    • my twinn: Making customized dolls for young girls.
    • Magic Tricks You Can Do: “It’s not a trick what is patently obvious, you dumb fuck!”
    • Learning the Alphabet with Ms. Udderly: A ventriloquist hates her own puppet.
  • Wheel of the Worst #13 – 8/10
    • Get Street Smart: A Kid’s Guide to Stranger Danger: Molestville feat. the Slow Burn molester.
    • Bus safety – an egg-celent idea: Directed by Wes Andersen.
    • Travelling with Ooga Booga: Blackface sci-fi.
    • Belgian candid camera where people don’t react to things.
  • Wheel of the Worst #14 – 2/10
    • Wormania
    • Australian author who erroneously believes anyone wants to know about her.
  • Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #15 – 9/10
    Millennials get helpful information boards about Mark David Chapman and clocks.
    • Golden Road – Today’s Senior Drivers: One or two jokes about the elderly.
    • Hangin’ with Leo: stalking in the guise of a documentary.
    • Telepathic Communication with Animals: crackpots helping crackpots, also an extradimensional dog
  • Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #16 – 9/10
    • Manners, Who Needs Them? : Ends with a rap that embarrassed a nation.
    • Top Slots – Spotting the Best: Coked out lunatic reads slot machine information.
    • Surviving Edged Weapons: Which gets the only standing ovation in BOTW history.
  • Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #17 – 10/10
    • Celebration of Age – The Croning Ceremony: old female hippies talk about how being an old hippie woman is great and should be celebrated with poetry and terrible amateur songs. The RedLetterMedia crew tear into them like a pack of hyenas who find an injured wilderbeast covered in barbeque sauce:
      • “If you are a crackpot in the South-West on a commune, you can pretend you are a person of value.”
      • “It’s just a bunch of women droning on and on and I was just waiting for a MAN to come in and focus them into some sort of conversation. But it never happens!”
      • “Scientology is actually better thought out.”
      • “Well, let’s talk about some of our narrators: Lady whose brain has been damaged by LSD.”
    • Hug a Tree – Surviving Canada:give me fire-water if you want to hear the end of story.
    • Mr. Wiggles – King Tut Style: “every day Mr. Wiggles struggles with super-Parkinsons.”
    • World Wide Web of Deceit: Christian propaganda video about the internet.
  • Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #18 – 8/10
    • Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults: “It’s aaalll totally legitimate, there’s nothing fraudulent in this video.”
    • Prevent Disaster at the Crossing: Information about not leaving a school bus full of kids on a railroad crossing. Seems legit.
    • Creating Rem Lazar: Kids movie with undertones of 9/11.
  • Best of the Worst Episode 78 ( not sure why it’s not called wheel of the worst) – 8/10
    • Experience the freedom of the naturist lifestyle:
      • “I don’t know, something’s wrong with their brains…”
      • “I think if I was interested in that and I watched this video, I would change my mind…”
    • Orgasmic Birth:
      • “We actually didn’t get to the part where they explain that. We didn’t watch the whole thing because we freaked out by watching tiny humans crawl out of women’s crotches!”
      • “There is something inappropriate though, with a woman giving birth on a blue ball…”
      • “She’s fakin’ it…”
      • “He looks like he’s been in a war. Like PTSD, staring into the distance.”
      • “Orgasming during birth is one thing. Hippie names? We’re done!”
    • Aggregate Training for the Training Impaired: “It’s for miners, not minors.”
    • Officer Hostage Rescue: “It was the same cop too! His squadcar got commandeered by a criminal like five times. Frankenstein, the Mummy, Dracula…”
  • Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #20 3/10
    • Energy & Me: Made by an educator whose crimes against music are unspeakable. “This man is despicable. He is a talentless hack!”
    • Christmas with Dennis: Polka on organ. His sister’s got it going on though. There’s probably a joke with “poke” and “organ” somewhere in there to be found.
    • The Thing About Money: “Lutherans don’t have any cash.”
    • Shape Up America: Elderly exercise video with parents of famous actors, parents who will do anything to make people pay attention to them.

Plinketto

  • Plinketto #1 – 5/10
    • Double Dragon: Weird video game franchise to make a video of.
    • Deathstalker: Uhm…
    • Doctor Butcher M.D: Rich wants that juicy Shaq-meat.
  • Plinketto #2 – 5/10
    • Mutant species: With Tashi Yar of Star Trek fame.
    • Skateboard kid: “It would be like, kinda like The Brady Bunch, just with more fucking.” Also some Dom DeLouise “Poke-me and the bandit” fan-fic.
    • Repo Jake
  • Plinketto #3 – 6/10
    • The Survivor: With Kyla the millennial girl texting all the time.
    • Keaton’s Cop: Old people starring in a movie.
    • Some space-thing of no note.
  • Plinketto #4 – 7/10
    • Turbulence 3 – Heavy Metal: With Slade Craven
    • Little Bigfoot: With logging politics
    • Feeders: Canadian shot-on-VHS debacle.
  • Plinketto #5 – 7/10
    • Nailgun Massacre: With the dirtiest house ever filmed.
    • Deathstalker II: Now with more consent.
    • Princess Warrior: With a lengthier wet t-shirt contest segment than most sci-fi fantasy movies.
  • Plinketto #6 – 8/10
    • Rocktober Blood: Fradulent re-release with extensive bathing scene.
    • The Pit: Psychological horror devolving into a Don Dohler movie.
    • Mankillers: David Prior’s feminist manifesto. The most impressive costume work I’ve seen in a long time.
  • Plinketto #7 – 9/10
    • Prototype X29A: With very little.
    • Quigley: Garey Busey as a dog.
    • Home Alone 4 – Taking Back the House: The annihilation of Marv’s groin.
  • Plinketto #8 – 8/10
    With Patton Oswalt who got his revenge on RLM by getting them to watch Jack-O at the next Halloween special.
    • Demon cop: Which isn’t about a cop or a demon. “I don’t know if we can properly explain in words how incomprehensible the first hour of this movie was.”
    • Alien Force: Burt Ward’s best role since Batman.
    • Game of Survival: With Lemro from Alien Private Eye!
  • Plinketto #9 – 6/10
    • Spacejacked: Roger Corman is a master of making competent movies on a shoestring budget.
    • The Dungeonmaster/Ragewar: Fantasy and Tron? Wack.
    • The Suckling: It starts with an abortion clinic that is also a brothel. The movie gets considerably more tasteless after that.
  • Plinketto #10 – 7/10
    • 100 Million BC: An asylum movie.
    • Stone Cold: World’s worst cop let’s everyone die. “It went over the top. Then it found a new top and went over that. “
    • Bog: “My crotch is kind of like a bog.”

Black spine series

Black spine is mostly informational tapes like Wheel of the Worst.

  • Best of the Worst: Black Spine Edition #3 – 7/10
    First occurrence of Black Spine Junka. Great discussion about a stripper tape:
    – That’s proof it was made by an alien. Hu-man hunks in California…
    – If California Big Hunks was made by aliens, what was their plot? What were the aliens trying to accomplish?
    – So they made the tape, then they distributed it and then they observed the hu-mans reaction watching the tape to see how close they got to the hu-man experience. “Oh, we got that wrong… Okey. … Their culture does not find dirty swamps romantic?! … Big star Michael Jackson, they didn’t like this one… But we put castle in tape?! Hu-mans used to live in castles..?” I think it gave them a lot of data to better their studies of hu-mans.
    • Chairobics: “It’s the sound of heaven getting closer.”
    • Riding Mower Safety Presented by Toro: “Look where you’re going and don’t run anyone over.”
    • California Big Hunks:
      • “Thematically it doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
      • “Rich, it’s getting weirder!
      • “An educational video for aliens!”
      • “Why do you have to put time-travel into everything?!”
      • “At first you think, redneck stripper? But no. It’s so much worse.”
    • A Touch of Magic for Cats and Kittens
    • Yello Dyno’s Can’t Fool Me:
      • “An upbeat song about perverts?
      • “What if he starts giving the kids bad information? ‘Sometimes you got to put out to a record producer! That’s how you make it in this business.’
    • Venison Processing the Easy Way
  • Best of the Worst: Black Spine Junka 2 – 10/10
    • Kelly Bear Teaches Respectfulness and Friendship Skills: Or as it is also known The Kelly Bear Kama-Sutra.
    • The Gospel According to St. Bernard: Has great advice for kids like “If divorce is the only answer, then we’d better find out what the question was and tell everyone to never-ever ask it.
      • “Go back to Hebrew-school Sharon! We’re with Jesus.”
      • Where are you going kids? Come back! Bring me some falafel!
    • Fire Safety for the Older Adults: A progressive interracial threesome story.
    • If you love me, show me: Some abstinence nonsense.
  • Best of the Worst: Christmas 2020 – 4/10
    • It Ain’t Worth It: Abstinence “information” in pursuit of Jesus.
    • Second Chance vs Magnum Force: Roger Ebert in disguise shoots guns and talks about body armor.
    • Carving pumpkins with Mr. Falk who can’t carve pumpkins.
      • “So… Why did your wife leave you?”
      • “And… How did she die?”
    • Small Change: Creepy animation about counting money.
    • Develop Your Psychic Powers: Tim and Erik sketch.
    • 90 degrees in the pool: Exercise video for people in a pool. “Never send us workout tapes ever again!”
    • Alcohol-propaganda of unclear purpose. Maybe pro-alcohol?
    • Dream Bunny Promo: “Everything is wrong. Everything!”
  • Black Spine Raffle – 8/10
    • The Self-levitation Video: Not related to any Japanese doomsday cult guilty of mass murder, so that’s a nice surprise. “You stand on one foot! We get it!”
    • Freedom from Pain: Instructional video for bogus pain treatment device.
    • The ABC of Safety – part 1:
      • I’ma drop ya’ off at 42nd and Broadway… Let the pimps have at ya’!
      • “I hear seals respond positively to black-face.”
      • “Oh my God, all these kids are drunk!”
    • Armed Robbery – Is It Worth Your Life?
      • “Crack addicts? Am I right?”
      • “Robbing the gas station? Such a cliché!”
    • Meditation – The Art of Ecstasy:Now we get into the killer cults. Well, maybe it was just a mass poisoning event with a potentially deadly disease. But even without that tidbit it’s kind of shady.
      • But with Osho, we’re all just fucking each other! All the time! Osho knows about fucking white women from California, who think they’re achieving something or other… They give him all their money, Osho knows it! He knows what’s up! Tell them to do water-color paintings, and then fuck them at night and tell them it’s meditation or some shit. Osho is the best at this.
      • “This was picked as something we would watch because Rich hates new age shit. It would be funny to make him watch this.”
      • When you arrive, they separate you: ‘White women from California’ or ‘Other’.
    • Milton Berles Low Impact High Comedy Workout for Seniors
      • “I’d love to see an Orson Welles workout tape.”
      • “Weren’t you a lifeguard at a water-bed motel?”
      • “It may take me 15 minutes to lean down and get on my on knees, but it’ll take me two seconds to murder Milton Berle.”
  • Best of the Worst: Black Spine Junka 3 – 9/10
    • How to tie scarves: What the fuck? Or as Rich puts it: “What the fuck?”
    • Info-select: Fascinating advert for early data management software.
    • Power Pack: Lady Dipshit bullies kids. “Who does your hair, Helen Keller?
    • Target panic: Archery video. Or maybe it’s about erectile dysfunction. “We’ve never seen a man with no soul.”
    • Street Smarts: So a 19th century strongman worked as a detective in Chicago and then made a video teaching kids about street smarts. Actually seems like he might have had a positive impact. Kudos to him, and his mutilation-oriented defense techniques against date rapists.
    • The Brothers: Three kids rap about Jesus. “What are these kids doing now? … Drugs?”
    • Doll Collecting for Fun and Profit: A guy explains collecting Barbies.
      • “Joe, what does your WIFE think of your Barbie collection?”
    • It’s a Steal: Made by Circle Square which is some (Canadian) christian cult? “Every kid looks worse than the last.”
    • Lights, Camera, Bubbles: “But then the bubble burst.”
    • Power Ageing: Mike laughs himself silly when an old woman explains her numerous medical problems.
      • “Now I just do coke and speed.”
      • “Then we move on to Fraulein Sausageball, a.k.a. Hitler’s ex-girlfriend.”
      • My life means nothing. Thank you.

Best of the Worst three movie format

  • 10/10
    • Cybernator:
      • “Oh my God… This is how it turned out?! This is not like Blade Runner at all!”
      • “They didn’t seem laser-y at first, but then they got laser-y later in the same scene.”
    • Panther Squad:
      • “What’s the opposite of climax?”
      • “Well, spiritually, it’s Italian. Shot in Belgium. Directed by a French guy. Written by a mongoloid…”
    • Project Metalbeast: “The trip to Budapest was all about experimentation.”
  • 9/10
    • Pocket Ninjas: Edited by a wood-chipper.
      • “This whole movie is someone’s dream that died. The dream of being a film maker.”
      • “I have so much hate…”
    • Cyclone: With Heather Thomas who I was sure was in A View to a Kill. She was not.
    • Dangerous Men: It’s like it was made by aliens who haven’t quite figured humans out, like something out of the Rick and Morty episode M. Night Shaym-Aliens! It would have been less jarring if the biker held a giant bullet that fired revolvers instead of what actually happens in this movie.
  • 7/10
    • Scary or Die: Clowns are kind of scary, admittedly.
    • Chopping Mall: Neat robot-monster/college-humor cross-over.
    • Exorcist II – The Heretic: Might not have gone over too well today using a 16-year old as an erotic temptress. Also, lots of octagons for some reason.
  • 9/10
    • Shock Em Dead: Script writer who doesn’t know punctuation, also Traci Lords.
    • Hollow Gate: Cuddled to death by two golden retrievers.
    • The Satan Killer: “Cop, with yellow shirt. With blood stain. Wife dead in past. Satan Killer, sees woman in bikini. Yanks from tub.” Not the shadiest movie involving one of the Sayre brothers.
  • 9/10
    • Future War: Silly sci-fi familiar from MST3K.
    • The Jar: ? “Whyy… is my tub full of soup?”  ?
    • White Fire: Not the most conventional family drama…
  • 6/10
    • Supergirl: “This movie has done for feminism what ‘Birth of a Nation‘ did for equal rights.”
    • Captain America (1990)
    • Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four
  • 7/10
    • The Instructor: “There are so many ball-hits in this movie. This movie should have been called Twisted Pair!”
    • Through Doohan’s Eye: “Maybe she dug up her own corpse?”
    • Twisted Pair: I have a hard time putting up with Neil Breen movies. It’s like if Michael Bay got blacklisted and had to make soulless indie movies. Also in this scenario Michael Bay has suffered a brain injury that undermines his ability to reason about human interactions.
  • 10/10
    • LA Wars: Cliché but agreeable movie about crime gangs going to war with one another.
    • Unmasking the Idol: The first Duncan Jax spy movie. Features a baboon sidekick.
    • Robowoman: The RLM-crew aren’t entirely positive…
      • “This should be criminal.”
      • “It feels like I’m watching 9/11-footage. It’s absolutely horrific… It’s got a strange fascination to it all the same.”
      • “I can’t do this… I can’t do this.”
      • “Robowoman is despicable trash.”
  • 10/10
    • Spookies: Horror movie that was edited to pieces and becomes very silly.
    • Action USA: Flat action movie that makes little sense. “I like you. You’re my security-hair.
    • Alien Private Eye: With Lemro! “He’s either an alien or a Trekkie, and I don’t like either of those things!”
  • 7/10
    • Hologram Man: Sort of like Demolition Man but way dumber and on a smaller budget.
    • Faust: So… Yeah…
    • Blood Street: “Who is this? What’s happening? … What was that?”
  • 8/10
    • A*P*E: South Korean Kaiju movie. “Were you expecting anything better?”
    • Easy Kill: It’s not easy to be Frank Stallone.
    • Honorable Men:
      • “The most ironically titled film we’ve ever done.”
      • “All those girls are in college. They’re all consenting adults. It feels like they’re in high school based on the scenes. Particularly the scene when they’re at the high school…”
      • “He would have to buy her a gift from a toy store…”
      • “How much more of this bullshit is there?”
      • “He looks like he’s about to get caught by Chris Hansen.”
  • 6/10
    • Lady Terminator: An Indonesian or Phillipino Terminator rip-off.
    • Lost in Dinosaur World: Promotional for awful park with animatronic dinosaurs.
    • Low Blow: “He’s like the main character from Miami Connection after 30 years of crippling depression.” It has a wonderful scene where Leo Fong dismantles the bad guys’ car with a giant circular saw while they sit in it and it’s clear that the scene plays out over several hours of real time.
  • 8/10
    • Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park: I was convinced that Anthony Zerbe was in the James Bond movie License to Kill, and he was! Finally I got this right. Failed on Tiger Yang in Mission Killfast and Heather Thomas in Cyclone but now I got it right! Oh, the movie is terrible in a darling way.
    • Killer Workout: A David Prior movie with maybe a few too many gratuitous all-female workout scenes. So much spandex… “That would have been smarter. But I didn’t do that. I David Prior’d it…”
    • Mystics in Bali: Indonesian horror movie. Makes Blood Debts seem like a Scorsese flick. Rich has a great theory of how all three movies share a theme.
  • 8/10
    • Parole Violators: A confused movie. Nice how the hero gets his ass kicked over and over since he’s so unlikeable.
    • Future Force: Ah, a David Carradine movie… We all know how this is going to pan out.
    • Geteven: Wonderful black tank-top movie.
  • 6/10
    • Carnivore: US government uses an abandoned building frequently visited by youngsters as a lab for testing a biological weapon. Or something.
    • HauntedWeen: College boner-comedy retrofitted to be a horror movie. Doesn’t work. The RLM-crew’s discussion features a wonderful time-travel storyline wherein Rich is hurled back in time to write all these terrible movies. When they discuss a movie-idea in the present it makes the movie magically appear on one of their shelves because it causes Rich to make the movie in the past.
    • Black Roses: Rock band turns people into monsters.
  • 10/10
    • Jack-O: Patton Oswalt’s revenge.
    • Rock n’ Roll Nightmare: Cool Jon-Mikl Thor movie.
    • Shark Exorcist: The first Donald Farmer movie on RLM. Truly amazing.
      • “It’s a long 70 minutes when you are deeply uncomfortable.”
      • “Don’t. Watch. Shark. Exorcist.”
      • “We watched somebody’s fetish film.”
      • “Having this on our show is even despicable.”
      • “It was like the disgusting filth at the bottom of a sewer.”
  • 6/10
    • Hawk Jones: Kids play all the rolls in a cops-and-robbers movie.
    • Winterbeast: Feels a lot like Manos: the Hands of Fate. That’s not a good thing.
      • “Getting through this has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do.”
      • You get out of Massachewsus! Here in Massajujish we put the camera down, and it stays there god damn it!
      • Microphone? MICROPHONE?!
    • ROAR: Someone made a movie where he and his family bumble around among dozens of real animals, including lions, tigers and leopard. 70 people were injured in the production.
      • “Oh my god!”
      • “Aaaaahhh!”
      • “Was that blood?!”
  • 7/10
    • High Voltage: “And it looks like some kind of amateur who really loved John Woo and wanted to imitate that, and kinda did… You know, half-decent job of it… You know, he did all right. It’s fine. They certainly jumped and shot guns at the same time, I can’t fault them for not doing that.”
    • Death Spa: “I wouldn’t call it a horror movie. Because horror movies have to be frightening and scary.”
    • Space Mutiny: Of MST3K fame.
  • 3/10
    • The Item: “95% of this movie made me angry.”
    • The Crawlers (aka Troll 3): “It’s up to our small band of boring, worthless characters to stop this from happening.”
    • Blood Lock:
  • 8/10 (New Releases)
    • Megalightning
    • (fighting movie)
    • Birdemic 3

Specials

  • Best of the Worst: Christmas 2021 – 7/10
    • Feeders 2 – Slay Bells: Feeders sequel…
    • Fay’s 12 Days of Christmas: Dogs wearing clothes. Weird.
    • SAFE: Features a wonderful story about using forklifts in a secret operation on D-Day.
    • Santa with Muscles: Hulk Hogan… So many ad hominem attacks. So many laughs. “What do you call kids who don’t have parents? Oh, orphans!”
  • Halloween Spooktacular 2021 – 9/10
    • Primal Rage: Boring zombie stuff.
    • Dorm of the Dead:
      • A Donald Farmer film… Why… Do I know that?”
      • “Why the fuck do we have another film directed by that psychopath?!”
      • “Oh my God, no!”
      • “Oh, noooo!”
    • Don’t Panic: “My eyes are down here.”
  • A Very Scary Christmas – 7/10
    “Your antics have become predictable.”
    • Santa Claws: “This is slowly becoming a show where we watch pornography.”
    • Iced: “And then everybody dies!”
    • Silent Night, Deadly Night – part 2: “Garbage day!”
  • Halloween 2022 – 6/10
    • Demons at the Door: Music by Insane Clown Posse. And that’s a bad portent.
    • Evil Toons: David Carradine appears with a noose. And I’ve already used the word portent for this episode. Dang it!
    • Night Killer: Fragasso/Mattei movie. Arguably worse than the previous two movies somehow.
  • Blindfold Picks! – 6/10
    • The Incredible Melting Man: Also featured on MST3K.
      • “They had some very impressive-looking locations, which is scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel for compliments to give this movie.”
      • “The houses in the movie are far more disgusting that the melting man. And those people!
      • “Someone who worked on the Bozo show did their makeup.”
    • Starship: “I have a headache now.”
    • Lady Avenger: By David DeCoteau of Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper “fame”.
  • Bad Movie Scavenger Hunt: 7/10
    • Computer Beach Party: Not just insufferable for silly computer stuff, but also because it’s a beach party movie. Possibly the only movie directed by a person in a coma.
    • Mission Killfast: Again I think an actor also appeared in a Bond movie. But Tiger Yang did not play Chang in Moonraker.
      • “That’s subplot nr 37A. That goes nowhere…”
      • “Did I just say photography actress in place of the word model ?”
      • “I was worried there was gonna be more scenes.”
  • Merry Kickmas – 8/10
    • Karate Cop: “What’s ironic is that David Carradine breathes life into that bar scene.”
    • The Christmas Light: At least it’s short.
    • Night of the Kickfighters:
      • “We looked it up and kickfighting is not a thing. It’s just a severe limitation of creativity.”
      • “Rich needs a T-shirt that says That’s staying in!”
  • Christmas or Cats – 6/10
    • Two Front Teeth: Very low budget Christmas-horror-spoof-nonsense.
    • Uninvited: Silly cat monster movie.
    • Christy – Santa’s First Female Reindeer: A socially awkward young woman cries a lot and talks to Santa Claus with such bad audio that it’s unclear what they’re saying. Then Santa tries to pet a bobcat which the bobcat is not into.
      • “No, I was laughing like a person in a strait-jacket would laugh.”
      • “These people look like they’re in a cult.”
      • “I feel like I went to the Stevie Wonder School of Cinematography tonight.”
  • Bad Movie Scavenger Hunt Too: 9/10
    • Silk 2: Monique Gabrielle makes a comeback after Deathstalker II. Wonderful.
    • Ultra Warrior: Clip movie from various Roger Corman productions.
    • Blood Freak: 1972. Florida. Low budget turkey-monster horror movie. Makes you feel like you’re coming down with the flu.

Spotlight

  • Ben and Arthur: 8/10
    “I’ve got my own methods and it’s been working 30% of the time.”
  • Blood Shack(aka The Chooper): 7/10
    From the maker of The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (which was featured on MST3K) and numerous pornos(which were not featured on MST3K).
  • Suburban Sasquatch: 10/10
    Oh, miss Sanchez the native American with an Italian father… Oh, the cops who keeps their guns drawn at all times because they have no holsters… What a film.
  • Petey Wheatstraw: 10/10
    Amazing movie and RLM shows a great retrospective of the producer’s earlier movies.
  • Twister’s Revenge: 8/10
    A terrible sci-fi made by Bill Rebane who also made the terrible sci-fi The Giant Spider Invasion of MST3K-fame. “There’s one guy who we thought was dressed as a werewolf-monster, but it turns out that was just his face…”
  • Wicked world: 7/10
    By the man who made Things.

Misc

Segments of special note from other episodes not mentioned above:

  • Robot in the family
  • Terror in Beverly Hills

Ad survey

I get these ads sometimes:

If you’re not familiar with them and don’t speak Swedish it’s just a questionare about which car-brands I’ve seen ads for lately. Now… Why would I answer this? Do Google think that we’re concerned with the welfare of their ad system and its customers? We netizens put effort into avoiding ads. We’re good at it too. What makes Google think that we’re going to put effort into helping them figure out how well they’ve done in brainwashing us?

Advertising as a basis for funding online services is a scourge but it seems the real world is mimicking the internet, rather than the internet learning that maybe harassing people isn’t a great way to build your brand. Thank God for YouTube Premium or I’d go nuts. … Okey, fine: I’d go more nuts.

Edit(2022-09-28): I don’t get these ads any more because I’ve set up a Pihole cluster. Enough is enough.

Audible book review

I have an older article about the intensely bad UX of Audible.com but as a paying member I’m not encountering any problems. I think it has more to do with the passage of time than me subscribing to one of their plans as opposed to a trial membership, but none the less I use Audible.co.uk a lot. There’s no Swedish variant of Audible and even if there was I wouldn’t be 100% keen on it. Looking at a Swedish equivalent of Audible I see higher prices and many missing parts of the Vorkosigan saga. Philistines!

That was a joke by the way, but one which hinges on the reader simultaneously being familiar with the lengthy Vorkosigan-saga book series and also aware of how it’s low-brow space opera. I’ve read the bulk of the series as ebooks like 12 years ago and have now made my way through the audio book versions of Falling Free(3/5), Shards of Honor(5/5), Barrayar(5/5), The Warrior’s Apprentice(3/5), The Vor Game(4/5), Cetaganda(4/5), Borders of Infinity(4/5), Brothers in Arms(3/5). I couldn’t get very far with Mirror Mirror so let’s mark that a 1/5 and move on.

I don’t quite understand how Audible can label Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds as space opera. Vorkosigan saga? That’s epic, unapologetic space opera. Kind of like Star Wars but with depth… Revelation Space isn’t necessarily the hardest science fiction I’ve ever encountered but it’s hardly space opera. It’s also hardly good… Sure, the narrator who made all 7 of 12 characters with a French accent sound exactly the same didn’t help – I’ll grant that. But it didn’t make very good use of time telling a story. 2/5 seems like a reasonable score. Not continuing that book series…

I’m currently listening to Sean McMeekin’s Stalin’s War about Stalin’s move leading up to the second world war and how various other countries played nice with the Soviet Union despite numerous red flags. Metaphorical red flags I mean! The literal red flags were of course also there but I don’t really see a country’s flag being red as a strong indicator that it will invade neighboring countries. Anyway, this actually show up at Bokus but again, higher price and it’s the same English language version that Audible sells. So I’m not going with Swedish audiobook retailers is my point. So far the book is good but the author doesn’t do a good job hiding his hostility to Stalin. I don’t mind people holding a grudge against Stalin per se, but if you’re trying to convince people that the Soviet Union’s role in the second world war should be re-evaluated it doesn’t help that you are obviously cherry-picking whatever makes Stalin look bad. Still, the author is providing insight into documents not mentioned in most history books so a score of 3/5 is reasonable.

Then there’s Midnight in Chernobyl: The Story of the World’s Greatest Nuclear Disaster. I adore this book and have now listened to it like 3 times. It’s a low-key telling of the background to the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, it operations, the accident and the aftermath and I’d give it a 5/5. Note that I have watched numerous documentaries on Chernobyl and even rummaged through the IAEA reports about it so it’s not like this is some novelty that I’ve come across. On that note I’d recommend the Surviving Disaster-episode about it. I have a pretty good copy myself but can only find this 360p-variant on YouTube when I look around now. It tells the story from the perspective of Valery Legasov for whom the Chernobyl accident must have seemed like a cruel joke the universe played on him, in the vein of The Twilight Zone.

Now for something completely different: Warhammer 40K. I’ve enjoyed Leutin’s lore-series about Warhammer 40000 on YouTube and thought I’d read one of the many books from the same storyline. Starting with a book about the Mechanicus: Priests of Mars: Forge of Mars: Warhammer 40,000, Book 1. No… Nope. Not my cup of tea. Luetin on YouTube recounts the lore in a way that highlights interesting phenomena and dynamics but this book was just wallowing in athmosphere(no pun intended). I’d give it a 1/5. So the other 12 000 books about Warhammer 40K have not been added to my reading list.

We Are Legion (We Are Bob) is the first book in the Bobiverse series and starts out fairly interesting but kind of loses steam towards the end. I’d give it a 3/5 maybe, and don’t intend to continue with that book series.

I was hyped for The Fall of Hyperion because I have listened to the original book two or three times. But it didn’t hold up… I’d maybe go as far as giving it a 4/5 but it feels very much like the author wrote Hyperion without any thoughts about a sequel and then when he got an offer to write more books in the same series he was low on creativity. Towards the end the author was pushing the deus ex machina-button like a starving lab-rat trying to make a machine dispense cheese, so I won’t continue this series. But I can still recommend it as a good use of 21 hours.

The author of Project Hail Mary seems to be well attuned to the sensibilities of certain types of dorks. It hits soo many spots just right. 5/5 I’d say. But I have spent hundreds of hours playing Factorio. I’ve written an essay on quantum mechanics and the multiverse-interpretation thereof. So please note that this isn’t some general score that I think everyone will give the book. You probably have to be a pretty hard core dork to enjoy this book as much as I did.

I sometimes buy books precisely because they are boring. Or at least not exciting. Like the series The Story of Civilization by Will and Ariel Durant. Each book is about 30-60 hours and there are 11 books. I’d give The Age of Faith (book 4), The Reformation (book 6) and The Age of Voltaire (book 9) glowing reviews but a big part of that would be the fact that they predictably put me to sleep. So it’s maybe not for everyone.

The DEDA Files is a series by games-reviewer Yahtzee Croshaw but even if you’re not a fan of his Zero Punctuation series you may like these books. Both Differently Morphous and Existentially Challenged are witty and keeps you curious about where it’s all going. Both are a strong 4/5.

Sleeping Giants: Themis Files I’d also rank at 4/5. It uses an interview-type format which is perfect for audiobooks. It has some minor annoying sidetracks to a story that hampers it but nothing major. Authors of the world, please don’t try to tack on tepid “human interest stories” to a story about the world being one decision away from complete destruction. A book about the 1962 Cuban missile crisis does well to not include a sub-plot about how an American fighter pilot carrying out dangerous espionage-missions over Cuba has a troubled marriage, for instance. That’s my two cents.

The Silver Ships, Book 1 is quite meh… 2/5? Something like that. I already own the second book in the series by way of some sale or it’s included in my membership or something but I’m not sure I will continue it anyway. I’ve been a renegade space cop jetting around the Milky Way galaxy. I’ve exterminated the Rachnii on Noveria with the push of a button. I’ve died in space and escaped from the medical facility that reanimated me as it was attacked by drones. Two groups of humans who have settled different planets meeting by accident and calmly discussing how nice their respective planets are? Not very exciting to Commander Shepard, *cough cough* I mean to me.

Ten Days That Shook the World I think I have to give a 5/5. An American reporter in Russia was smack-in-the-middle of the Bolshevik revolution in October 1917 and locked himself in a hotel room afterward and in a state of mania churned out all that he saw in the form of a book. He was a big fan of the Bolsheviks but I don’t get the impression he is tweaking the story to their benefit. Mr Reed recounts the decisions and arguments of many different parties in the chaos, from reactionary nationalists to middle-of-the-road social democrats all the way over to the extreme left of Lenin. It can also be noted that he died quite shortly after the book was published so he wasn’t in a position to update the book in 1937 with a foreword about how Lenin and Stalin maybe killed just a few too many hundreds of thousands of Soviet citizens to have their political movement count as a win for the progress of the proletariat.

Speaking of which, Stalin in Power: The Revolution from Above, 1928-1941 is really good. 4/5. The show-trials and establishment of the cult of personality is rarely explained in detail. But this book covers that well. I’m still looking for a book about how the Soviet Union stagnated after Chrustchev. Because things were distinctly not great when Gorbachev took over.

Columbus Day: Expeditionary Force, Book 1 is a book I’ve tried to get into but without luck.

Anthony Beevor’s The Second World War is good to fall asleep to. Not a lot of new information. Not sure why I expected new information to be honest…

And the band played on, is a fantastic write-up of the AIDS epidemic starting with a Danish woman in central Africa and going through the first cases of immune-deficiency in young men in San Fransisco. It’s not objective or neutral. It would have been hard for the author – a gay man living in San Fransisco who later died from AIDS-related complications – to be objective or neutral. I argue that it wouldn’t have been good for him to be objective or neutral either. Everyone had an angle. Those who wanted to save lives were well served by being opinionated and critical. The book is much like Ten Days That Shook the World, another great window into a period that changed the world.

Collapse is a book about the collapse of the Soviet Union by Vladislav M. Zubok. It’s interesting to hear the backstory of Perestroika and other reform. I disagree with the author about Gorbachev having authoritarian rule as a fallback at all times though. He had excessive faith in reforms but introducing direct presidential rule would at best have bough him some time. But it would have made sense to get economic reforms to work well before doing any political reforms. Once the republics introduced their own central banks or stopped paying taxes to the union the gig was up. The coup could have reversed some reforms but foreign loans were not going to extended after a coup(which the author acknowledges) so they really would have had less time than Gorbachev. I’d give the book 3/5.

Atom servers

Today I learned that the following workload is too much for an Intel C3558 Atom server with 32GB RAM:

  • 1 Ceph mon
  • 2 Ceph OSDs
  • One VM exporting 4TB storage space via CIFS
  • One VM running
    • MariaDB Galera
    • MongoDB
    • Cortex Metrics
    • Loki log management
    • Grafana
    • Keepalived
    • HAProxy
    • ProxySQL
    • Zabbix Web UI
    • PDNS recursive DNS server
    • Minio
    • Nomad
    • Consul
  • One VM exporting access to a CephFS instance via CIFS(CTDB)
  • One VM serving as a router/gateway
  • One VM running Squid and apt-cache-ng
  • One VM running a Kubernetes master node
  • One VM running a Kubernetes worker node with
    • MetalLB
    • Kube-router
    • Kubernetes dashboard
    • Kube-metrics

As can be seen above, appserver03 buckled under the strain as soon as the kubernetes master node went up on pve3. I even tried turning off cephfs03(CIFS export of CephFS using CTDB) to give pve3 some slack but it wasn’t enough. The VM appserver01 handled the master node better but when its Kubernetes worker node went up load went bananas as well. You can even see pve1’s own load go up during the same period. Unsurprisingly it’s steal that causes the issue for appserver03 as a new VM competes for access to the underlying hardware:

Steal was an even bigger problem until I changed HAProxy to send all traffic for Cortex and Loki to the most powerful server which runs a Xeon-D processor. Now Cortex and Loki on the Atom servers only handle the background tasks, not queries from Grafana or log ingestion. Unless the main server goes down, then it fails over.

If the load hadn’t affected the behavior of the actually important NAS-services I might have kept going but it did:

ctdb is the CephFS export, ceti is just an alias for smb1. Note that the response time displayed is the latest value, not the maximum value. I got latencies well above 2 seconds for a write-read-delete cycle.

Anyway… I’m just going to have to continue to run all my Kubernetes masters and workers as VMs on my workstation with a 12 core AMD Ryzen processor and 64GB RAM. Which isn’t a problem really.

Local storage vs distributed file system

Interesting graph from my own monitoring of two different Samba file shares I operate:

smb1 and smb2 are VMs with direct-attached harddrives – old school HDDs – running Btrfs. ceti is a virtual IP that typically points to smb1 but in the event of some failure or other downtime the IP moves to smb2 which is a read-only copy of smb1. That’s why smb2 isn’t present in the second group of graphs for read-write-delete, it’s read-only…

So ignore ceti, it’s just another name for smb1 in the picture above. That leaves ctdb which is round-robin A-pointer-thing:

cjp@amd:~$ dig ctdb.svealiden.se

;; ANSWER SECTION:
ctdb.svealiden.se.      60      IN      A       192.168.0.232
ctdb.svealiden.se.      60      IN      A       192.168.0.231
ctdb.svealiden.se.      60      IN      A       192.168.0.233

Each ctdb-node runs – you guessed it – CTDB! Which is really just a synchronization-layer for multiple Samba instances providing access to a cluster- or distributed filesystem. I use CephFS. Note how the ctdb-nodes has roughly the same average read time as smb1 and smb2 but much more jitter. It become even more apparent for a write-read-delete cycle where the ctdb nodes have way more jitter and also significantly higher overall delay.

It’s actually surprising that I don’t pay a higher penalty for using CephFS. It’s not that CephFS is bad but generally distributed filesystems have a lot of delays due to the many round-trips over a network that need to be completed for every operation. And while the delay is noticeable in the graphs above(a 6 hour span) it’s not noticeable for me as an end user.

2022-05-24: Had to click on this article and read it to remember what the hell it was about a full 24 days after publishing it. This vacation I’m on was clearly overdue.

The Russian situation

Russia will stop it’s deliveries of natural gas to Poland tomorrow 2022-04-27 according to the BBC. They are apparently not heavily dependent on Russian gas and have significant reserves:

PGNiG said its underground gas storage was almost 80% full and, with summer approaching, demand was lower.

Poland also has alternative supply sources, including a liquefied natural gas (LNG) terminal in Swinoujscie.

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-61237519

I really hope both Germany and Poland realize that any infrastructure used to import gas from other sources than Russia are the biggest missile-magnets in the world right now. Any LNG-port needs to be treated as a high value target like the White House or NATO headquarters. People should barely be allowed to look at it, much less fly within 100 kilometers. Russian submarines are a more obvious threat so a significant naval deployment around these ports needs to be permanent.

Would Russia attack infrastructure belonging to a NATO country? I think so. Primarily by way of them thinking “NATO can’t prove it was us”. Lavrov complained the other week about how the West betray their claims to “innocent until proven guilty”, but that is a legal guarantee that under the law. Russia is a sovereign nation and is neither subject to nor protected by the laws of any other nation. If Russia is willing to submit itself to the jurisdiction of German law – for instance – then they can make a claim for also being protected by the principle of “innocent until proven guilty”.

It is of course a nonsensical argument anyway since it’s not exactly difficult to prove that Russia has invaded Ukraine. But still, NATO is under no obligation to go to a court of law to impose sanctions or use military force. Most countries in NATO require a certain political procedure for that to happen but all that is needed is that the Bundestag and the British parliament vote in favor of military action against Russia. So “NATO can’t prove it was us” is not a very good basis for attacking NATO-members’ infrastructure. But Russia has been making precious few good decisions of late… Hence why I see a real risk that Russia will attack German and Polish gas infrastructure.

I like the lack of subtlety demonstrated by the US:

At a news conference in Poland after the visit, Mr Austin told reporters the US wants to see “Russia weakened to the degree that it can’t do the kinds of things that it has done in invading Ukraine”.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-61214176

That’s entirely correct. We can not rely on Russia abiding by its obligations in trade or in respecting the territory of other sovereign nations. Only the inability of Russia to attack other countries can be relied upon. I think that 20 years from now a new government in Russia will sign a document with Ukraine and the EU settling their disagreements. Ukraine recognizes the right of eastern provinces to vote on independence in UN-monitored electrions, Russia leaves Crimea, pays war reparations to Ukraine and the EU remove sanctions against Russia. And afterwards the head of the EU will privately tell the Russian president at the time “The sanctions may be gone, but try selling anything to the West and you will see how keen we are to line your pockets. So don’t make any lofty plans about elevating yourself above Soviet-Russia-circa-1975.”

People will of course argue that a weakened Russia is a dangerous Russia, pointing to the fall of the Weimar Republic and the rise of Nazi Germany. But Germany was allowed to violate the Treaty of Versaille, borrow lots of money and take numerous territories from its neighbours so I don’t really see the policy of “keep Germany weak” being maintained beyond 1927. Germany was allowed to rearm because the Soviet union was seen as a greater threat and a strong Germany would be a good roadblock for communist expansion.

Look instead at North Korea and Iraq. North Korea shoots a few artillery rounds here, fires a few bullets at some South Korean fishing-boat there… They’re busy keeping their country from collapsing and seem to be aware that any open hostilities will start the clock counting down the last 168 hours of their regime. Iraq after the sanctions were introduced and their military fed through a wood-chipper… Not a major source of trouble for the rest of the world. Which made the second gulf war so embarrassing; there wasn’t even a real threat that needed dealing with.

If Putin is so keen on restoring the “glory days” of Russia – notably the period of time which has made all Russia’s neighbours hate their guts – then he has gone about it terribly. You need modern industry, not Soviet-era factories that have never heard of “quality control” or “tolerances”. You need educated people, skilled in physics, electronics, computers, chemistry, rocketry and so on. Go head, name a university in Russia! I’m sure they have them but they aren’t exactly drowning in Nobel prizes or even getting enough mentions in scientific literature to make the rest of the world know they exist.

You also need to make the military something that people want to be part of. No one wants to be shot at but you can still make military service look like a positive thing in sum total, offsetting the whole “I might get shot”-thing with “I learn useful skills and am well paid”. In the Soviet Union people wanted to serve in the military. It was a proper career-choice. A few veteran Chechen yahoos and 100 000 raw recruits drafted six months ago doesn’t work quite as well.

I don’t see much room for Russia to catch up in this regard now. It’s not that they can’t teach their factory-workers how to use a micrometer or their students what role convolution plays in signal processing. At least I don’t think that constitutes a major problem for Russia. But using better trained workers and engineers to build a strong modern economy, that’s where they’re kind of screwed because they aren’t going to get that from the West and China isn’t looking overly keen on it either. How much does China really trust Russia now? Invade one neighbour, then maybe another?

No, the past 20 years should have been spent very differently if Putin was going to go all Peter the Great on us. Peter the Great by the way was a major modernizer of Russia who tried to make it catch up to the more advanced states in Europe, building a navy and reforming agriculture. It worked rather well as it happens. See where you went wrong here Mr. Putin?

2022-04-27

The plug has been pulled on Poland and Bulgaria as previously indicated. Or maybe given the circumstances it better to say that the plug has been set? Because they’ve “plugged” the pipelines carrying gas to Poland and Bulgaria? Semantics aside, it’s interesting that Poland openly says they get gas from Germany and Slovakia. Russia can’t let that slide, they will have to threaten to stop gas deliveries to any countries providing Poland and Bulgaria with gas. Otherwise it’s an entirely meaningless “sanction” that Russia has introduced.

But Germany is in enough hot water already for buying Russian oil and gas, they’re not going to stop providing Poland with gas just because Russia threatens to stop their deliveries as well. They might as well burn their country to the ground if they cave to those demands, or the rest of Europe will do it for them. So I can’t see any way for this to proceed except EU countries circumventing Russian gas “sanctions” and Russia cutting all gas supplies except to Hungary(note: all pipelines bringing natural gas from Russia to Hungary go through Ukraine or other EU countries 🙂

Then we will finally see Russia sweat. They’ll be out atleast 400 million euros a day. And that will hasten the end of the war in Ukraine. First there will only be a cease-fire agreement, then an armistice, then a North/South-Korea negotiating period to cover up the fact that neither side is willing to budge. But that’s precisely where we need to go, to the point where Ukranians aren’t being killed day in and day out. Then we can let the sanctions resolve the matter over the next couple of years.

One possible development is that Russia buckles under the pressure of lost revenue from oil and gas and agrees to sell to all EU states, no special conditions. But I don’t think that would fly with the EU once the tap has been closed. Saying “Yes, we will resume funding the Russian war machine now that you accept payment in Euros, even though you’re still filling mass graves with Ukranian civilians” is not something EU politicians feel all that comfortable with. Except Hungary of course. People in Europe like Heineken a lot more than they like politicians and companies have poured out of the Russian market to avoid being seen as playing nice with the Russian regime.

So yeah, backpedaling on gas-trade with Russia won’t work for the EU once the trade stops and the war continues. It will be the first change once the firing stops. A temporary cease-fire will be enough for the EU to start buying Russian gas again. But we’ll see. Maybe Russia will just buckle immediately. They haven’t done anything else right so why try to make even a little bit of sense?

2022-04-28

One of Germany’s biggest energy firms has said it is preparing to buy Russian gas using a payment system that critics say will undermine EU sanctions.

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-61257846

So, it’s treason then? Very well. Time to start boycotting German goods and services. Well, Austrian and Italian too obviously, they’re also planning to bow to the Russians. This is going to be a pain in the neck, checking out what goods come from Germany or use parts from Germany… It’s slightly easier with Italy. Italian ham is marked as just that. Does Austria export anything? Oh, right. They have some industrial companies that provide heavy equipment.

If their respective governments put and end to this nonsense that changes everything but I don’t see that happening. It’s too inconvenient for them to stop importing gas from Russia. I think it’s pretty clear that appeasement isn’t a viable strategy. The next Russian demand will be that European countries stop providing military aid to Ukraine, or no more gas. Then they will have to stop providing all forms of aid – financial or otherwise – to Ukraine or no more gas. Eventually Russia will go too far and demand that European countries withdraw from NATO or no more gas. Then even Germany and Italy will refuse and: no more gas. But by then they will have already made it clear that they will acquisce to any demands that are mildly inconvenient. And that’s not going to help them or the EU.

Here’s one thing that we can’t blame on Russia. They’re not weakening the EU, Germany, Austria and Italy are. It’s in response to Russian demands but every EU member state is a sovereign nation that can choose its own course. It’s Germany, Austria and Italy that put industrial output above peace in Europe. Because Russia’s war machine is running on European money day in and date out. Everyone is well aware that nothing will shorten the war faster than a total boycott of Russia.

Note that we have alternatives to Russian gas. There are plenty of mothballed nuclear and coal-fired power plants in central Europe that can be started up within a few months. Obviously the countries in question won’t like that, but it’s an alternative to “do whatever Russia asks” and “massive economic downturn”. If there was an option in there that the Russian-gas-dependent countries of Europe liked then that would have been decided on already. But no.

It’s easy to think that nuclear power plants can’t be activated because country X introduced a law saying that once a plant is de-licensed it can’t be licensed again, but that same nation has the right to change that law. Laws are what countries use to express what they want and don’t want, not some external force that countries are powerless to control.

Same thing with the lack of LNG terminals being built right now in Germany. I can recommend the newsreel Building the Liberty Ships During World War II – Birth of Victory 1945. When a country is caught off-guard and says “Oh dear… We dropped the ball big time!” then things get done right quick. On the same note is the newsreel about Detroit Arsenal Tank Plant which was a Chrysler-plant that they started building before they even got a signed contract from the government. Before the building was complete they started building tanks in the finished parts, using a steam locomotive to heat the place.

I’m not seeing Germany or Italy put in nearly that kind of work to sever ties with Russia. No, it will be done by 2030… I’m a big fan of the EU but it has already alienated the United Kingdom to the point where they left. The rise of Le Pen in France isn’t a great vote of confidence for the EU. This isn’t helping either. It might seem petty to get worked up about, which currency is used to buy something, but it’s a matter of Germany acceding to Russian demands that Germany publically recognizes being illegitimate, because they “have to”. Once you agree to something that you know and openly recognize as being blackmail because you “have to”, then more demands will follow and more concessions will be given.

The governments of central Europe can put a stop to this, refusing to let gas companies that abide by Russian demands use the national gas grid(for instance). I don’t think that they will, but that’s the decision that they are mulling over right now. Hopefully there are plenty of reports from other countries in the EU in particular and the West in general that countries that dance to Russia’s tune won’t have many trading partners left.

2022-04-30

The sooner the West accepts the new geopolitical reality the better for themselves and for the international community.

Russian foreign minister Lavrov ( translated from https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/lavrov-usa-och-nato-bor-sluta-skicka-vapen-till-ukraina )

That’s… “optimistic”, let’s say. Russia’s still raking in money from oil and gas, it hasn’t felt much pressure from sanctions yet. 30% of government revenue disappearing in a year or two as fossil fuel sales to Europe dry out, that’s where the real pain begins. Lavrov is dangerously close to Baghdad Bob. This is in the same vein:

“If the US and Nato are really interested in resolving the Ukraine crisis, then first of all, they should wake up and stop supplying the Kyiv regime with arms and ammunition,” Lavrov said.

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/world-europe-61252785

Yes… If Russia wins without further opposition, that would end the fighting. That’s true… But what gives Russia the idea that the West or Ukraine considers total Russian victory an acceptable conclusion to hostilities? To what audience is he speaking? The Russian audience? I didn’t know they wanted the Russian people to know that their “special military operation” has found itself fighting not only Ukraine but also the military hardware of the US, Germany, France, Sweden, Poland, Norway etc. etc. etc. I guess it serves their “The West is trying to destroy Russia”-spiel but not so much the “No need to worry about Russia invading Eastern Europe”-spiel.

The BBC published a less impressive article about which nations side with Russia or at least don’t side with the West. It has some good information but this…

Then there is the accusation, shared by many, especially in Muslim-majority countries, that the West, led by its most powerful nation – the US – is guilty of hypocrisy and double standards. In 2003, the US and UK chose to bypass the UN – and much of world opinion – by invading Iraq on spurious grounds, leading to years of violence.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-61272203

Who let Mr. Gardner write a piece about international relations? If someone thinks “hypocrisy and double standards” is a factor in international relations, that’s kind of disqualifying. The population of muslim-majority countries may well get upset about such things but the governments of those nations don’t get themselves worked up over other countries being hypocritical or applying double-standards. No government supports Ukraine out of moral principle, they either bow to public pressure or see their own national interests converging with those of Ukraine.

Europe isn’t too keen on a new war in Europe. Iraq couldn’t care less. I wouldn’t even bother to try to change that. They’re not going to want to side with Russia because they are just as likely to get invaded by Russia as by NATO, but it is a matter of supreme indifference to them what happens in Ukraine. Much like we don’t care about what happens in Iraq. No, the Ukraine-situation is much like everything else in international politics about national self-interest, alliances along with military and economic risks. I might hold a grudge against Russia(oh boy, do I hold a grudge) but whoever runs Sweden or any other country will put such things out of their mind to determine what is the most prudent course of action.

A quote I like from History Matters on YouTube comes to mind, referring to why the UK didn’t declare war on Soviet Union when they invaded Poland just after Germany did in 1939.

The UK was weighing its options and prioritising victory over Germany over all other things, including Poland existing.

https://youtu.be/WARonsfUOvw?t=87

2022-05-02

So… The foreign minister now argues that Hitler was Jewish? https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-61296682

Russian swastika-flag when? (<— If you wonder about the grammar there, it’s a meme-thing, don’t worry about it)

Meanwhile in Western Europe, Germany says it’s willing to stop buying Russian oil by the end of the year. Good news for Hungary I suppose. It’s easy to kick them out of the EU but it’s going to be harder to kick Germany out. But that only means the EU as a whole creeks under the internal tension. Since the outbreak of the war 35 billion euros have been paid by various EU countries to Russia in exchange for fossile fuels. Doesn’t look too good.

Imagine if those 35 billion Euros had not been paid! The Russian government would have had to print an equivalent number of Roubles. But already by the first 10 billion Euro-equivalent the value of the Rouble would have dropped considerably, so the next 10 billion Euro-equivalent would have had to contain more Roubles. Russia can offset some problems by printing money but it’s only a stalling tactic and it would be quite a stressor for the government to be so seriously short of foreign capital.

That’s the weird thing about the Russian demand for payment in Roubles. Getting paid in Euros means you can buy Roubles yourself if you want, but you also have the option to spend the Euros on stuff. You don’t see Sri Lanka demanding to be paid in… whatever currency they have… Foreign currency is the hard stuff to get a hold of. You want to prop up the Rouble? Fine, spend your oil- and gas-Euros on Roubles then, no need to make European countries do the exchanging for you.

Maybe the fact that it barely benefits Russia at all was part of the plan? To make the EU go along with it, setting a precedent of acceding to Russian demands. The first one is almost damaging to Russia, so people give the thumbs up. Then the next demand will be easier to sell since the EU has already begun caving in to demands. Of course, it doesn’t really seem like Russia’s doing to much thinky-thinky-brain stuff of late so maybe it’s just me overthinking it, trying to assign some sliver of sense to what their doing? Their foreign minister arguing that Hitler was Jewish kind of underlines that point. It’s almost like one of those bad lip-reading videos only it’s the actual foreign minister of Russia talking.

2022-05-20

Tukey’s ambassador to Sweden, Hakki Emre Yunt, says that he would very much like to see member of Swedish parliament Amineh Kakabaveh extradited to Turkey.

https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/finland-ger-natobesked

Oh, I haven’t laughed that hard all week… Turkey hasn’t been winning any popularity-contests in Europe or North-America in the past two decades and their spiel over Sweden’s and Finland’s NATO-applications hasn’t helped much I suspect. The law of least resistance leads me to believe that NATO countries have asked both Sweden and Finland to try to appease Turkey privately but that probably came to an end today. The Turkish ambassador has tried to backpedal on his statement with great zeal but it’s now quite clear that Turkey wants to use their seat around the NATO-table to extradite democratically elected officials from other countries.

That simplifies matters even if it doesn’t make them easier. I see little way around this impasse other than a new multilateral alliance – which has nothing do with NATO *wink wink* – that just happens to include all NATO-members except Turkey, Sweden and Finland. Complete coincidence! That would basically be a polite way of kicking Turkey out of NATO so it’s not anyone’s first choice but Turkey leaves few alternatives. Keep in mind that Turkey’s complaints against Sweden have a lot to do with our government’s support for the YPG guerilla, which the US has also furnished with money and weapons. Complaints also include a limitation on military equipment sold to Turkey, which is something that both other EU countries and other NATO members have adopted.

So Turkey is picking a fight over the policies of the United States, Germany, France, Italy, the Netherlands, Sweden and Finland. As it stands they only oppose the impending NATO membership of Sweden and Finland, but the other countries I mentioned that are already in NATO and have supported YPG even more and imposed even more stringent restrictions on arms sales to Turkey are probably not too sympathetic to Turkey’s position is my point. Turkey used to be quite an important part of NATO but with the advent of intercontinental ballistic missiles(as opposed to shorter range ones) their importance dwindled slightly. Then when the Soviet Union collapsed Turkey lost yet more of its status and as former Warzaw pact members joined NATO Turkey no longer held the position of “closest NATO-country to Russia”. Their increasing Islamist tendency just adds fuel to the fire.

It’s kind of gutsy for Turkey to push this issue given that the predecessor to Turkey – the Ottoman empire – fought so many wars against Russia over the centuries. Alienating the other members of the military alliance you’re part of doesn’t seem like a smart move.